Dance Etiquette

Attire and Grooming

Dance Shoes
We recommend purchasing dance shoes if you plan to make dancing your hobby. They are specifically designed for flexibility, comfort, balance and movement, not to mention that they are kind to our wood floors. We recommend Ballroom Connection in Sunnyvale and Feather Dance Shoes. More on dance shoes can be found on our FAQs page.

Attire
As with your shoes, you want to wear something comfortable, but keep the comfort of your partner in mind as well. Avoid heavy clothing that will make you sweat, as well as baggy clothing or strappy outfits that can swing and hit your partner.

Breath
You will be dancing in close quarters with a lot of new people. You may want to chew gum or bring breath mints (Altoids are popular, but bring enough to share!). Some dancers avoid eating certain foods (garlic or onions, for example) on dance days.

Be prepared to sweat!
Don't forget to wear deodorant, but if you wear cologne, use it sparingly if at all. Your partner may not appreciate it if you use too much. Some people are even allergic to colognes and may have to turn you down for a dance if you choose to wear it.

Asking/Refusing a Dance

Asking for a dance

Notice what the person is doing before you ask them to dance. Be wary of interrupting conversations.

Ask politely, "Would you like to dance?" Avoid grabbing a partner and pulling them onto the dance floor.

One dance at a time is the norm. Should you want a consecutive dance with your partner, ask them first. Consider asking them if they want to dance at a later time.

It is very acceptable for ladies to ask gentlemen to dance. Most gentlemen are flattered by the offer.

Take the time to dance with someone new. Get into the habit of making new friends and giving everyone the opportunity to dance. If you are advanced dancer, that might mean even asking a beginner to dance. Remember, you were there once yourself; don't forget how exciting it was to dance with someone more experienced than you. Share the same joy.

On the other hand, if you are a beginner and it seems advanced dancers keep to themselves, feel free to break the ice if they don't. They are probably not intentionally keeping to themselves; most likely since they've been dancing a long time, they just know each other better.

Try to avoid monopolizing partners, particularly ones of a higher level than yourself. Advanced dancers are often in high demand. While the advanced dancers do usually dance with anyone, beginners included, I'm sure they like to dance with others of their own level as well, so it's good not to monopolize them.

How to say "no"

Ideally, we would all say "yes" to everyone who asked.

If you must decline, it's common, but not required, to provide a reason (e.g., I'm resting, I promised this dance to someone else). Then suggest dancing the next dance or a later dance, but if you do, make sure you do reserve that dance and don't dance it with someone else. A turn-down without explanation is generally considered more serious and usually taken more personally than a turn-down with an explanation, so you should be careful about declining without giving a reason.

What to do if they say "no"

Don't take it personally. All dancers get turned down from time to time, and there are other people who would very much like to dance with you. You can always ask again, but give him or her time and space and ask again later. It is usually a good idea to let several songs pass. If you continually get turned down, it might be time to seek out private lessons. Perhaps your lead or follow is too heavy, or your frame too tight to make it comfortable for a partner. This is not something that is evident in group classes and you need the one-on-one with an instructor to correct these problems.

On the Dance Floor

Don't over extend your bounds on a crowded dance floor. Respect the space of those around you. Don't over project with your arms or over use the dance floor at the expense of colliding with another couple.

Dips and lifts are best executed in shows and competitions. Avoid these types of movements in a club or social setting unless you're sure you have plenty of room around you. Injuries can occur when positioned incorrectly on a crowded dance floor.

Dance to the level of your partner. Dancing takes two; adjust to the skill level of your partner.

It is not necessary to apologize to your partner if a particular move is not executed perfectly. The point is not to have a perfect dance, but to have fun. However, if your mistake may have physically hurt your partner, please apologize and make sure they are okay.

Don't give dance advice unless it has been solicited. Never criticize.

Thank your partner for the dance. Show your appreciation.

Advice for Leaders

When starting a dance, especially with someone you don't know, take it slow. Everyone dances differently, so take your time and get to know the other person by starting off with less complex moves, and possibly keeping it at that if she is not able to do more.

Do not push or pull your partner too hard.

If she is not following something, try leading other moves. It may be that she is not a good follower, but perhaps your lead isn't clear and you need to work on that at a later time, preferably with a private instructor.

Make sure you pay attention to where your partner is and where she is going. The social dance floor is crowded and it is generally up to you to see that she does not collide with other dancers.

In closed-hold dances, do not hold your partner too tight. Many people are uncomfortable with close body contact, particularly with someone they do not know.

Advice for Followers

Try to be light and attentive to your lead. Your leader should never have to pull you.

If your arm is resting on his as in closed hold dances, do not let it be heavy. Hold your own weight.

Help your leader with floorcraft. He does not have eyes in the back of his head and you may have to warn him if you are in danger of colliding.

"I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself."
~Mihkail Baryshnikov